Disney music is the best kind of music. It’s a fact of life. Therefore, by using the powers of logic, Disney musicians have to be the best kind of musicians. So, we decided to rank the musical acts from Disney movies to establish once and for all (in our humble opinion) who’s the best. But, before we begin this rhythmic ranking, we have a couple of rules.
- The musical acts must perform for an audience, rather than vocalizing their internal feelings via melody.
- The musical acts do not necessarily have to play an instrument.
Alright, now that we have the business out of the way, let’s begin:
18. Gaston’s Wedding Band – Beauty and the Beast
What band agrees to perform at a wedding where the groom hasn’t proposed to the bride? We feel like there should be a rule against that in the wedding band handbook.
17. The Flowers – Alice in Wonderland
You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, like how to hit extremely high notes and also be kind of rude. They should have spent less time in floral choral school and more time practicing their manners.
16. Kuzco’s Theme Song Guy – The Emperor’s New Groove
We do enjoy Kuzco’s Theme Song Guy’s catchy song all about Kuzco, but we don’t enjoy the fact that his song gets people thrown out of windows.
15. Elsa’s Coronation Band – Frozen
The tuba guy is our favorite and he should play at every Arendelle event. Overall though, there seems to be a lack of pizzazz from the band as whole, leaving them at the number fifteen spot.
14. Wheezy – Toy Story 2
Wheezy’s is a true comeback kid story. After being left on the shelf for years without a new squeaker, he finally gets his voice (and his groove) back with a snazzy rendition of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Hats off to you, Wheezy.
13. The Cat Band – The Aristocats
Everybody wants to be a cat, and we want to dance to this band all night long. (We also want to find them a cool jazz club play in rather than a dilapidated attic.)
12. The Pearly Band – Mary Poppins
We never need a reason and never need a rhyme to enjoy the pearly band from Mary Poppins. Their group costume coordination is excellent, and they don’t even bat an eye when Mary and Bert start singing a song called “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
11. Roger Radcliffe – One Hundred and One Dalmatians
Roger is described as a “musician of sorts” by Pongo, but it’s really Roger’s songwriting skills that land him a spot on our list. While he seems to have a very unorganized work ethic, he does write a really catchy tune about Cruella De Vil, and for that, we love him all the same.
10. Louis and the Firefly Five – The Princess and the Frog
We’d listen to this jazzy band and dance the night away at Tiana’s Palace any day of the week. Plus, we’d get to eat beignets while an alligator plays the trumpet, and that friends, is really cool.
9. Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem – The Muppets
As the house band for The Muppet Show, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem have seen it all and played it all. They’ve performed with some of the greats, and have truly stood the test of time when it comes to great rock music.
8. Prota Zoa – Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century
Interplanetary, megastellar, hydrostatic. Our love for Prota Zoa is automatic (and can only be described using space-like words). Plus, he’s the first rock star to perform in space, which gives him extra points on our list.
7. Bert – Mary Poppins
Any guy that can be his own one-man band and come up with witty rhymes on the spot gets extra kudos in our book. He’s got so much enthusiasm as well, which is why Bert is number seven on our list.
6. The Pub Thugs – Tangled
To be totally honest, we were going to rank the Pug Thugs a lot lower due to the fact they chain up their accordion guy. Upon further examination though, we have to give the thugs credit where credit is due. They spice up their musical number with flame throwing, barrell rolling, a strange goat, and that old guy who makes us laugh every time. These thugs have dreams people, and we appreciate their dedication to their strange hobbies and musicality.
5. Clopin – The Hunchback of Notre Dame
If there’s one thing Clopin knows how to do, it’s put on a production. Whether he’s entertaining the kids with a puppet show, or leading the crowd in “Topsy Turvy”, Clopin brings the energy. He’s also quite acrobatic, which really helps put his showmanship over the top–and into our top five.
4. Sebastian and the Sea Creatures – The Little Mermaid
Is there anything this crustacean band leader and his under the sea friends can’t do? Instead of creating a slideshow of reasons why Ariel should enjoy living under water, Sebastian and crew stage an elaborate song and dance number to win her over. If that’s not dedication, we don’t know what is.
3. Lumiere and the Enchanted Objects – Beauty and the Beast
Dining in a castle filled with enchanted objects is great. Dining in a castle filled with enchanted objects that sing you off to sleep as you digest is even better. Lumiere and the enchanted objects do such a great job at welcoming Belle with their song and dance number, that it makes US want to get out of seats every time we watch this scene and dance along. Also, can we try the grey stuff? We hear it’s delicious.
2. Powerline – A Goofy Movie
Powerline may be a surprising number two choice for some, but hear us out on this one. Powerline has major stage presence, amazing dance moves, and a pretty great back-up crew to sing and dance around him. But what sets Powerline apart as our top Disney solo act are his songs. “I2I” and “Stand Out” have been our power jams for years, which proves that these songs, and Powerline, are here to stay.
1. The Muses – Hercules
And the cream of the crop, the tip of the top, are the Muses. These wonderful ladies are the epitome of a Disney musical act. They have great voices, flawless synchronized dance moves, and help narrate the story of Hercules with both gravitas and humor. The Muses are pretty much perfect in every way, which is why they are our number one musical act.